An albino squirrel at the base of a tree, photographed through a window.
CONFIRMED ALBINO · NOT PURPLE · SHOT THROUGH A WINDOW

Résumé
BS-O-Meter

Recruiters call the perfect candidate a purple squirrel — the one who does everything. Nobody has ever met one. Your résumé is probably pretending to be one anyway.

She's real, though. She lives behind my house.

THE SERIOUS PARTThe squirrel is a joke. The measurements aren't. Your résumé is read by the same trained models we run on real hiring — scored against 15 million real job postings, so "too many skills" means too many compared to what the market actually asks for. No LLM guessing. Nothing about you leaves our machines.

or

We try our best, but sometimes we get bogged down. If it's slow, it's slow — it's free after all.

Free, no signup. Your résumé is scored in-house and the text is deleted right after — never sent to an outside AI.